7 Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship

Most often, what really makes a relationship work is not what we would expect. It is not the first things we think about. Predictability is very important in a relationship, more so than variety, so you do not always have to try and spice things up. There are seven methods which are outlined below which are guaranteed to improve the levels of trust in a relationship. So follow on and take note of what they teach.

First Step.

This very important first step is being predictable. You do not have to continually try and spice things up to keep things going although this a common misunderstanding. Obviously, having and giving surprises is very nice and should be encouraged, but most of all there needs to be a basic consistency in the relationship that anchors it and makes it work. This is how trust is built as we go through our day to day lives.

Second Step.

This step concerns your body language....your words must match your message and therefore you body language, because if they don't match, your partner will pick up on this, even if they are not consciously aware of it and this is when the doubt starts setting in. Remember, when the words match the message which in turn match the body, this is trust building.

Third Step.

This important step is belief in your partners competency, otherwise you or they will not fully trust the other. When you communicate in a loving trusting and truthful way, the relationship just gets stronger. If you or your partner don't have belief in one another, then the relationship is violated.

Fourth Step.

Honesty. Don't keep things from you partner, or have secrets, (we're not talking about surprise birthday party secrets or other innocent ones) as this is very hard to keep going and absorbs a huge amount of energy that should rather be used to enhance and build the relationship. Secrets will eventually come out, and destroy trust.

Fifth Step.

Communication.Always discuss things with each other. Be open and let each other know what your wants and needs are. If you don't you will start resenting things your partner does and because yo do not communicate properly, this will destroy the relationship.

Sixth Step.

Both you and your partner need to learn to say no. Voicing your needs and desires are good things as this shows you are communicating, but you do not always have to agree, as your partner will lose respect for you if you always agree to everything, and this will lead to a breakdown in the relationship.

Seventh Step.

This the last step, is a very important one. Always pursue growth in your relationship. By digging down and finding what problems there are may be difficult, but this way you can correct them and build on a stronger foundation.

All of this builds trust and respect and belief in your partner and makes the relationship that much stronger and both of you as individuals much stronger as well, knowing that you can overcome anything.

For more methods and very useful tips on improving your relationship or helping to rekindle or mend a broken relationship you need to click on the following link to Get Back Together

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ed_King

How to Build Trust in Your Relationship Starting Right Now

Trust, one of the major foundations to relationships, all over the world, also one of the more difficult things to try and achieve in a relationship, for a number of reasons:

* Not knowing the individual well enough
* Judging them based on a past experience
* Your limitations due to your past experiences
* Being self conscious or not sure of yourself
* Not telling the truth about how you really feel (either to save your feelings or theirs)
* Forgiving but not forgetting (if they had your trust and then lost it)

All perfectly normal and most people will come under one or more of the bullet points above. So what can you do about it to make sure all your relationships from now on are built on trust and stay that way?

1. No Secrets - Be Honest

Be honest and open - the most important part of a relationship - from the very first date right through to 30 years of marriage or more. First impressions, of course are very important, being honest at the beginning and being the 'real' you will mean the person you are meeting will get to know the 'real' you and not the person you think they want you to be. If it is not a good fit at the beginning then it wasn't meant to be.

Secrets later in the relationship can destroy trust, and can then destroy the relationship. Secrets are found out in the end, even after all that covering up and lying.

It is the quickest way to get out of a relationship and if you have any respect for the other person then your relationship should be open and honest.

2. Playing the Guessing Game - Your Needs

Again, be open and honest about what you want or what you need. Sometimes relationships and life can be a bit of a guessing game because you don't know what the other person wants or you don't want to offend them. In the long run it will save a lot of arguments if you are both honest about what you need from each other.

Of course relationships are about compromise as well but neither or you will have a chance to do this if you are not honest. And this can actually be one of the reasons why a relationship might end - if you spend all your time meeting the other person's needs and none of your own it might seem like you are smothering them.

Be honest and open - both ways - about your needs and listen to what their needs are. You don't have to meet all their needs, you can say no sometimes. If you compromise about some things and agree/disagree on others then you will mutual respect for each other.

3. Body Language vs. What you Say

This links with what was discussed above, you want to make sure you are being truthful and honest with each other. As well as communicating that through the words that you are using you need to communicate the message through your body language too.

Does this sound familiar - you are annoyed because your man didn't call you back yesterday, he comes round and you decided to give him the silent treatment - you frown or give him dirty looks - when he asks what is wrong - you say nothing, that you are fine. Firstly he knows something isn't right because he asked - he read your body language. Secondly - well being open and honest is something that we have already talked about - so tell him you are annoyed he did not phone you back - he might have a perfectly good reason for it.

Make sure that the words you use and the body language you use are complimentary of each other - if they give two different messages then they will not trust what you are saying as your body says something else.

4. Believing in Them Builds Trust

Believing in your partner and putting your trust in them enhances that relationship ever single time. If you doubt that person's ability it makes them feel inadequate and they will feel resentment towards you - it might only start as something small but lots of small issues can blow up in your face.

To give you an example - my partner always likes to be early and I am a "turn up just on time or a few minutes late kind of person". If we need to be at a particular place at a particular time for say a party or a wedding then we are there on the dot, but if there is no urgency then I struggle to keep that time. This has been an issue J We compromised and understand how each other person works - I know that I can be trusted when it is important to be on time and to have makes me feel great at the same time the trust in our relationship stays intact!

5. Build and Enhance Trust By Learning And Asking Questions

One way to try and kick start building trust either for the first time or whilst you are in the middle of a relationship is to ask each other questions. Learn about each other, not easy question like "What is your favourite colour?" or your favourite meal. Real questions that make you think -that will really make you feel like you are getting to know the other person. Why not email each other a question a day for a couple of weeks - you will learn more about them, build your relationship and will give you something to talk about and discuss.

Sometimes the answers might not be what you wanted to hear but then that is something that you work through together. It will help you become stronger as a person and if it really isn't the answer you wanted to hear then maybe it will save you a lot of heartache in the future. To be honest -there is alot more positives to come out of "Questions" than negatives - so go for it.

For some of the best 'thought provoking', 'fun' and 'relationship saving' questions you can ask in a relationship, visit TopQuestions

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jenny_Hand_Davis

Relationship Secrets No One Wants to Talk About

I don't think anyone has to tell you that relationships are complicated. There are lots of resources out there that try and explain or give advice on how to handle them. However, as I have read, I find many of them lacking. They cover mostly the common sense stuff, like saying "I love you" and remembering anniversaries, but they leave off some of the non-conventional truths about relationships. So lets fill in a few of the gaps.

Getting Outside Help

What I have noticed is that most guides cover issues affecting newer relationships. Only specialized books cover problems that accompany long-term couplings and they again usually dish out the same advice about rekindling the flames of love, when in fact there may not always be any sparks left to rekindle.

When the fire starts to leave a long-term relationship let nature take its course. When partners gets bored that is when they cheat. But looking for fulfillment outside the relationship can be an important test. The outside fling will inevitably lead to a confrontation. If there is nothing to salvage in your relationship, you'll fight and eventually split and move on. If the love is still there the infidelities will bring it to the surface and can often save the relationship and may even make it stronger than ever.

Yes it is painful and no it is not fool proof but this is how it usually ends up anyway even after all the role playing and counseling. In newer relationships outside trials are more accepted as a test. "Let's see other people!" is a familiar phrase, and often it is agreed (however reluctantly) by both parties that this is a good test as to the strength of the burgeoning relationship.

Don't Poke Out The Wandering Eye

There are of course signs that a relationship is losing steam, among them is a waning sex life, emotional distancing and strange charges on credit card statements. But checking out a nice ass is not a sign of anything but being alive. This goes for both women and men. A quick tip for this very common situation is do not turn it into a fight, turn it into a night. When you catch your partner taking a gander at some passing eye candy, instead of blowing a perfectly normal human reaction out of proportion, turn it into a game. Playfully tease them about getting caught; this can lead to a strengthening of bonds plus a greater trust and understanding.

Address The Issue

Instead of going into the signs of a deteriorating relationship, lets take a look at some common causes that are often overlooked and usually play a bigger role than forgetting an important date or never buying flowers.

Very often, in a relationship people become comfortable with each other and their life together. The drive to attract a mate fades away and the first thing to go is attention to ones appearance. This is, either consciously or sub-consciously, a major factor in holding things together. It is after all the reason you got together in the first place and is the basis of almost all human attraction. If he lusted after your firm round ass or she got fluttery over your six-pack (or any other combination), you had better keep those things as long as you can. Basically if you let yourself go, be prepared to be let go.

This is especially true for women. The harsh truth is that women begin loving men for their "details" much sooner in a relationship. For men the primary attraction will remain physical for much longer. So ladies those little idiosyncrasies that melt your heart 3 months into it, are not going to be a major factor in his feeling towards you for maybe 10 months. So if that tiny waste-line goes early on then so will his attention. But this does not let the guys off the hook either, she may love you for the way you hold a sandwich, but don't forget it is your ripping back she is digging her nails into.

When The End Comes

Fortunately or unfortunately, whatever the circumstances, relationships come to an end. It is always nice to end things as friends, after all this person has been an important part of your life and it would be a shame to lose them all together. But be warned, the "Lets be friends" breakup has hidden hazards. Think very carefully before you make promises; can you truly handle seeing your former partner with another? If you cannot handle the image of your ex heaving sweaty breaths of passion under the pleasures of another, you are not keeping a friend, you are dragging out a one sided relationship and heading for even greater heartbreak.

This is especially important for guys. Men have a greater sense of detachment between sex and emotion, but men are also prone to territorialism and when you toss emotion in there it is a bad mix. Where as for a woman the thought of her man with a new lover is heartbreaking, it can be violently infuriating to a man. Most of the time the real pain of a breakup for a guy is not so much losing a life partner, but being replaced by another guy.

So the best thing to do if you decide to try and be friends is, don't expect to move from lovers to buddies over night. Take it slow and keep distance in the beginning. If there is a friendship there, a few months of not seeing each other, and more importantly NOT knowing what is happening in the others life, will not hurt a thing. True friends can get together after years of no contact and pick up right where they left off. The important thing is to understand that when it is over it is over. Dragging out a failed relationship is the worse thing that you can do to yourself.

Childhood Lessons

All of this applies even more the younger you are. With youth comes the need to grow and experience, which includes relationships. As children your heart is free to be fickle, because social convention allows a child's love to be non-committal. So why do we put such a burden on ourselves as adults?

We should take a page from childhood. What we devalue by calling a childhood crush was in fact love, perhaps even more pure than we are capable of in adulthood. The heartbreaks are the same; watching your love in 6th grade share milk with another was no less painful as it is seeing them having a secret luncheon with another at 35.

However, very often our youthful passions of 20 years past are revisited fondly in our memories; the first kiss under the bleachers, or running off for the day just to explore that warmth of being together. When you look back you can still feel the glow in your heart often to such a degree that even the recollection of the loves end is a fond memory. Where as an adult, many times we cannot recall one good thing about a realtionship we had 6 months ago. So when did we lose this ability to recover from heartbreak and move from love to love enjoying the moment of it without regret or malice? More importantly, how can we regain it?

The Big Square Dance

Love comes and goes; perhaps our quest to find that one perfect soul mate is where our heartache lays. If we were to embrace each relationship for the time that it exists and then set it off joyfully when it ends, celebrating the experience, instead of mourning the lose, maybe we would be happier. Instead of dragging along the baggage and pain we do now, we would carry from relationship to relationship all the positives and joy of the previous. We would quite literally be sharing the love. Then if you think about it, with all there is to learn from one another, it is unfair to ourselves and certainly selfish towards others to lock into a pairing and never branch out.

In that, no relationship would ever really end.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Arthur_Knight

HOW TO GET THE GIRL YOU ALWAYS DREAMED ABOUT.

Hi guys out there.

Guys always seem to have this problem with women folk; the girl who would sell her father’s car for you, you don’t love but she who doesn’t even remember your name, you’d sing about and write poems on trees (like Shakespeare’s Ganymede) about! Well, I know because I’ve had the same problem several times and I got over it – most of the time.

Firstly, make sure she’s your choice. If you like bad girls, make sure she’s bad to the bone and vice-versa. You wouldn’t want to find out you’ve been stressing yourself over a pair of mismatched shoes would you? Of course not! How do you know if she’s your type? Simple. You have your specifications (physical, moral, intellectual, religious, and e.t.c), so watch her closely and see if she fits the bill. I suggest you do this for a girl close to you (neighbor, same church, school, workplace colleague and so on.) you can’t keep efficient tabs on someone in Enugu while you are in Sokoto, can you? It is also advisable that your paths or daily activities intersect often, like you guys have a common endeavor or something.

Next, you have to be different. If you are in a situation like I was (an engineering department), there’ll be a lot of boys trying to get the same thing (about 150 to 1 in my case) so you have to be distinguished. If everyone is quiet, make noise. Try not to be irritating though. Don’t be crass, be stylish, confident. Even if she has a boyfriend, your style’s the only thing that can give you an edge.

Get close. Here I quote from the popular advert, “the closer the better”. In a very sincere manner, get yourselves acquainted. Don’t use the old “let me help you with this…” routine, it totally sucks now. Rather, be the one in need of help. Say you felt she could help you with whatever. Let her take time explaining what you already know. Act smart like you get it, then make a mistake (let it not be expensive o!). Blame her. Say she said you should go left, instead of right. Have a small friendly blame shifting argument. This way you also find out more about her kind of person. If she insults the man in you, you might want to pack your charisma and leave because she won’t make a good long lasting relationship. If she’s jovial about it, hey, she just might be sweet. Lay aside you differences, buy her a drink. Talk about something else. Find out more about her. Say you are very grateful to her; you’d like to see her again in case you could help her too or you just like her company.

FREQUENCY. Hang out more often. Tell her little at a time about you, and know more about her. Use what you know against her. For instance, if you know she hates sunlight, give her your shades while you both are strolling, then promise (but keep forgetting) to get a pair for her. Don’t flaunt money or try to be what you aren’t; it will fail in the long run. Unless you are looking for a fling, then check out my article on getting flings in record time (and sometimes record trouble)! Now that you have started hanging out, challenge her views. Make her begin to see some things through your eyes. Motivate her and always seem in control. Compliment her (compliments aren’t always lies) and tell her things that will make her feel special. Don’t forget to seem trustworthy, ladies love guys who can keep secrets (they have so much of that so it’s only natural). And don’t seem like the guy who always depends on his male friend’s i.e always “hanging out with my guys”. It will look like all you and your friends do is brag about exploits (although it’s true) of which she is about to be inclusive. Seem focused but not stiff. Have times when you are dead serious, even angry, and times when you laugh till you cry. Mood swings can be an added advantage, adds more mystery to your charisma but you have to be careful lest it damages the bond you’ve so far built.

ROMANCE. Yea, the inevitable. You have to be romantic and it comes with being bold. Don’t say I want to kiss you, kiss her. Try doing it in a lovely setting, sunset, a garden, your room (though it sounds desperate more often than not), anywhere you know she won’t forget in a hurry. As you kiss (a deep one at that), watch her reaction, see if she tries to pull back (I hope for your sake she doesn’t). All that stuff about getting slapped is only in the movies bro. If you guys have been friends for sometime, you’ll never get slapped; she’ll only be confused if she really wasn’t expecting it. If you sense any rejection, pull back, look into her eyes dreamily for a little while (preferably before she says anything) and then say you don’t know what came over you, you’ve probably never seen anything so beautiful, enchanting, bla bla bla, but don’t apologize. You can then try to act normal or leave before she totally recovers. If you do not sense any rejection during the kiss (maybe you even sense her responding), then break the kiss, (not too abruptly) like you just realized yourself, pull out your head and look at her for the shortest moment then dive at her lips again, even deeper this time. Reverse psychology. You just succeeded in making it seem like you couldn’t resist her though it’s not naturally proper to have just kissed her like that. And you’re pretending you’re the one that can’t resist when you know she too was falling (but you are the man in control right?)!

Later, over the phone or something (in either case), talk about how magical the kiss was, how right it felt and how confused you are on what to do next but you know you don’t want to ever let her go. Let’s pray your mouth wasn’t smelly and you’re a good kisser so she’ll drop all her guards (and maybe boyfriend) for you!

CONCLUSION. Hey, I’ve tried haven’t I? It’s up to you to do what you want, because if you’ve got the right style and do what I’ve told you, she’s fallen already. You can now raise rug rats and live happily ever after, or break her heart by cheating (she won’t be the first, nor last to be heartbroken). You can look for my article on how to cheat, even though you’re caught. And if after trying all these, you don’t succeed, man, she ain’t your type, or you don’t have what it takes. But you must know something, you can’t win all, you have to lose some. Don’t worry; there will always be someone for you, even if your Mum has to go find her out for you. GOODLUCK

iamadiume@gmail.com

Relationship Help: Solution For A Healthier And Rewarding Relationship

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. All couples go through rough times and experience difficulties in maintaining a healthy relationship. However, there are some who do not take these as a challenge and so they easily let go and end the relationship for good.

Ending the relationship is not always a best solution when conflicts arise. Conflicts are normal part of the relationship and these even make the relationship stronger and test your love for each other. If you end the relationship sooner, it only goes to show that you have a weak foundation and your feelings for each other are not that intense. So, when you encounter problems in the relationship, the best thing that you can do is to seek relationship help.

Relationship help is very much available on the Internet nowadays. More and more relationship counselors have taken advantage of the power of the Internet to reach a wider market that is in need for relationship help. But since there are lots of options available, you have to make sure that you choose a reliable adviser for you, one who really has the experience and the commitment to serve other people who long for a rewarding love life and great relationship.

There are several ways where relationship help can be provided. These can be through significant tools for positive change, personal coaching, and retreat for couples. Because of the Internet, these are very much available for easier access and more convenience. You need not to leave the comfort of your home or office just to inquire and avail of all these. By simply browsing through sites, you can now seek relationship help in minutes.

Nowadays, there are lots of books about relationships that can be purchased in local stores and online. These books include articles about improving relationships, different advice from marriage and relationship counselors, and success stories of couples who overcome very difficult times in their relationship. These books can help you a lot in assessing your relationship problems as well as yourself in order to figure out the best solution to undertake. Aside from that, these books can also help you stay on a positive track and are essential if you want a truly rewarding partnership.

Personal coaching can also play a significant role in providing relationship help. You can check online for a site that offers a coaching session for couples. This session can help you have a healthy, joyful, and rewarding relationship. After the session, you will sure gain clear insights about resolving relationship issues and you will learn new strategies to make positive changes even if you are in very rough times.

If a personal coaching session is not the thing for you, then you can always opt for a retreat. By spending a week with your chosen relationship counselors, you can really seek relationship help. A retreat for couples is often held in an intensive and supportive place to achieve profound results. A concentrated weekend program is included to really transform your relationship. When you get home, you will really feel that your relationship is renewed and the romance is rekindled.

All these ways can really provide you with effective relationship help that gives positive results. You should keep in mind to seek relationship help as soon as you see a first sign of trouble. This will help you resolve the problem sooner and avoid much bigger conflicts in the future.

Published At: Isnare Free Articles Directory http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=37842&ca=Relationships

How to Get Any Woman Attracted to You - 5 Sizzling Hot Tips on How to Attract Beautiful Women!

I've had many men approach me over the years to provide them with tips on how to attract beautiful women. It surprises at times as how many men have no clue what really builds attraction in girls. Furthermore, some of the advice I see out there seems to be off the mark.

This is a field which I have studied extensively and I actually went out on the the field and practised a variety of different techniques. I also learnt from people who have been doing the same line of work.

Women will not admit what it is EXACTLY that attracts them. A reason being is because it is embedded in their sub-conscience and they themselves cannot explain it. That is a reason why so many girls are attracted to "bad guys" or guys who aren't good for them. So allow me to break it down for you below:

1. Flirting With Teasing: This has been proven and tested time and again. I finally realised a big part of what it is that creates attraction. When you flirt with a girl and you are doing it in a way that projects playful banter in a teasing-like manner and there is a smooth flow going back and forth, like a ping-pong game, then you will be creating ATTRACTION. It is hard for a girl not to respond to this, as it engages her in a playful and fun manner.

2. Challenge Her: This expands on the previous point. While you are having this playful banter, this conversational tennis match with her, you want to challenge her in your interaction. Girls love to be challenged. In fact, women will value a man who she has to work hard to win over. That is part of our human nature, the more time and effort we invest in something, the more it means to us.

3. Push-Pull: NEVER give in easily. You want to take two steps forward and one step backward. Just when she thinks you are in to her, you pull back. Send her mixed messages, let her wonder if you ACTUALLY like her. Just like a cat with a piece of string. When you have the string in front of the cat, it is interested in the string and will work to get hold of the string. Once you give it the string, it quickly loses interest.

4. Demonstrate High Value: Women will be attracted to men who are of equal or higher value to themselves. This can be done in a variety of different ways, from the way you project yourself, telling good stories, being funny and witty and being outgoing and social, to mention a few things.

5. Confidence: This is a no-brainer. Women may not know what it is EXACTLY they want, but it is fair to say they all want a bold and confident man.

Generally-speaking, this is how you attract beautiful women.

If you are SERIOUS about mastering this art and want to discover all the Powerful Secrets that can help you seduce every woman you meet, just Click Here!

If you are truly serious about mastering the art of attraction and being able to date and seduce ANY girl you want, visit this free website now and get a free report: http://www.MasterOnlineDater.Com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mark_J_Taylor

7 Simple Ways on How to Attract Women Tips

Have you been having difficulty attracting women? Attracting women can be effortless and can be done naturally. Here are seven (7) simple how to attract women tips:

1. Be well-groomed. Women are attracted to men who may not look that handsome but who are well-groomed and smell nice. Take a good look at your fingernails and toe nails, be sure that they are well groomed because most women assess men by their nails - just a glance at your nails if they are clean and well buffed will tell them if you are conscious of your grooming. Being well-groomed does not also equate to bathing yourself with cheap perfume or aftershave nor is it the same as putting on a lot of gooey deodorant just so you will not stink. Looking clean and neat and smelling just right without leaving an overpowering scent when you pass by is enough not to put women off.
2. Be self-assured. Women are basically control freaks and are attracted to men who exude confidence without being arrogant and to whom they can depend on. Being self-assured or self-confident without looking arrogant is one important trait needed by any man. It shows that a man is sure of himself, he can be depended on in any situation, he can adapt himself to any environment and he can always be in control. Women always like to play the damsel in distress and would like to be sure that their prince will be able to come to their rescue.
3. Be well-mannered. Women are attracted to men who are polite and courteous. But be warned! Women would know if you are faking it. Being able to behave properly in public with style and decorum should come naturally. Even if you may not be a rich guy or highly professional you should know and be aware of proper etiquette like when dining in public or when talking to people you are introduced to.
4. Be charming. Charisma in any man will surely be an attraction to women. Charm, appeal or allure can be seen in a man who is relaxed in the way he moves and carries himself, he is witty and amusing but not too comical and he can easily entertain any woman well.
5. Be attentive. Women are attracted to men who give their full attention. The fact is that women want to feel that they are the apple of the eye of their man and the focal point of his attention. Give her the importance she craves for, like getting refills for her drinks, complimenting her dress or her smile and pulling out a chair where is going to sit. However, you should not overdo paying her attention because she just might loose interest in you.
6. Be a good listener. Women are attracted to men who pay attention to what they are saying. You should be interested in what women say because they love to share about themselves. Women, most of the time, unconsciously and unintentionally talk about their likes, their expectations, their dreams, their experiences and the people they value most. Listening to them will make you aware of what they want from a relationship and you can figure out what they like in a man.
7. Be a good conversationalist. Women are attracted to men who can tell a good story. But you should not tell them long stories because they will surely get bored. Women also respond well to funny but subtle pick up lines.

You do not really have to be rich or gorgeously handsome to attract women. All you need is, as the French say, savoir faire (do the right thing), look good, behave properly and be charming at all times and you are on the way to attracting the women you want.

Do you need more attract women tips? Do take a look at other How to Attract Women Tips at our website at http://www.blackbeltseduction.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jumby_Navarro