Hi guys out there.
Guys always seem to have this problem with women folk; the girl who would sell her father’s car for you, you don’t love but she who doesn’t even remember your name, you’d sing about and write poems on trees (like Shakespeare’s Ganymede) about! Well, I know because I’ve had the same problem several times and I got over it – most of the time.
Firstly, make sure she’s your choice. If you like bad girls, make sure she’s bad to the bone and vice-versa. You wouldn’t want to find out you’ve been stressing yourself over a pair of mismatched shoes would you? Of course not! How do you know if she’s your type? Simple. You have your specifications (physical, moral, intellectual, religious, and e.t.c), so watch her closely and see if she fits the bill. I suggest you do this for a girl close to you (neighbor, same church, school, workplace colleague and so on.) you can’t keep efficient tabs on someone in Enugu while you are in Sokoto, can you? It is also advisable that your paths or daily activities intersect often, like you guys have a common endeavor or something.
Next, you have to be different. If you are in a situation like I was (an engineering department), there’ll be a lot of boys trying to get the same thing (about 150 to 1 in my case) so you have to be distinguished. If everyone is quiet, make noise. Try not to be irritating though. Don’t be crass, be stylish, confident. Even if she has a boyfriend, your style’s the only thing that can give you an edge.
Get close. Here I quote from the popular advert, “the closer the better”. In a very sincere manner, get yourselves acquainted. Don’t use the old “let me help you with this…” routine, it totally sucks now. Rather, be the one in need of help. Say you felt she could help you with whatever. Let her take time explaining what you already know. Act smart like you get it, then make a mistake (let it not be expensive o!). Blame her. Say she said you should go left, instead of right. Have a small friendly blame shifting argument. This way you also find out more about her kind of person. If she insults the man in you, you might want to pack your charisma and leave because she won’t make a good long lasting relationship. If she’s jovial about it, hey, she just might be sweet. Lay aside you differences, buy her a drink. Talk about something else. Find out more about her. Say you are very grateful to her; you’d like to see her again in case you could help her too or you just like her company.
FREQUENCY. Hang out more often. Tell her little at a time about you, and know more about her. Use what you know against her. For instance, if you know she hates sunlight, give her your shades while you both are strolling, then promise (but keep forgetting) to get a pair for her. Don’t flaunt money or try to be what you aren’t; it will fail in the long run. Unless you are looking for a fling, then check out my article on getting flings in record time (and sometimes record trouble)! Now that you have started hanging out, challenge her views. Make her begin to see some things through your eyes. Motivate her and always seem in control. Compliment her (compliments aren’t always lies) and tell her things that will make her feel special. Don’t forget to seem trustworthy, ladies love guys who can keep secrets (they have so much of that so it’s only natural). And don’t seem like the guy who always depends on his male friend’s i.e always “hanging out with my guys”. It will look like all you and your friends do is brag about exploits (although it’s true) of which she is about to be inclusive. Seem focused but not stiff. Have times when you are dead serious, even angry, and times when you laugh till you cry. Mood swings can be an added advantage, adds more mystery to your charisma but you have to be careful lest it damages the bond you’ve so far built.
ROMANCE. Yea, the inevitable. You have to be romantic and it comes with being bold. Don’t say I want to kiss you, kiss her. Try doing it in a lovely setting, sunset, a garden, your room (though it sounds desperate more often than not), anywhere you know she won’t forget in a hurry. As you kiss (a deep one at that), watch her reaction, see if she tries to pull back (I hope for your sake she doesn’t). All that stuff about getting slapped is only in the movies bro. If you guys have been friends for sometime, you’ll never get slapped; she’ll only be confused if she really wasn’t expecting it. If you sense any rejection, pull back, look into her eyes dreamily for a little while (preferably before she says anything) and then say you don’t know what came over you, you’ve probably never seen anything so beautiful, enchanting, bla bla bla, but don’t apologize. You can then try to act normal or leave before she totally recovers. If you do not sense any rejection during the kiss (maybe you even sense her responding), then break the kiss, (not too abruptly) like you just realized yourself, pull out your head and look at her for the shortest moment then dive at her lips again, even deeper this time. Reverse psychology. You just succeeded in making it seem like you couldn’t resist her though it’s not naturally proper to have just kissed her like that. And you’re pretending you’re the one that can’t resist when you know she too was falling (but you are the man in control right?)!
Later, over the phone or something (in either case), talk about how magical the kiss was, how right it felt and how confused you are on what to do next but you know you don’t want to ever let her go. Let’s pray your mouth wasn’t smelly and you’re a good kisser so she’ll drop all her guards (and maybe boyfriend) for you!
CONCLUSION. Hey, I’ve tried haven’t I? It’s up to you to do what you want, because if you’ve got the right style and do what I’ve told you, she’s fallen already. You can now raise rug rats and live happily ever after, or break her heart by cheating (she won’t be the first, nor last to be heartbroken). You can look for my article on how to cheat, even though you’re caught. And if after trying all these, you don’t succeed, man, she ain’t your type, or you don’t have what it takes. But you must know something, you can’t win all, you have to lose some. Don’t worry; there will always be someone for you, even if your Mum has to go find her out for you. GOODLUCK
iamadiume@gmail.com
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